Note: Di ko maituloy ang kwento ko tungkol kay Kuya Bobby if di ko bibigyan ng pansin ang nangyari sakin 2 years prior to my relationship with him. What I am talking about is my so-called "married life". My writing these stories serves as closure to my then life and a start to what I am right now.
It's hard going through a break up especially if it was with the very first person you loved and gave yourself to. We often thought na yung first natin ang magiging kasama natin habang buhay. But life is not always full of bliss and happiness. I used to think that there will be a "Happilly Ever After" in my life, or that somewhere, somehow, someone will just pick me up and be happy with me. I was wrong...
After my painful break-up with Alex, I started partying around. I got extremely obsessed with my looks. I became so active with my soccer and my volleyball team, my other extra-curricular activities in school and madalas nakakalimutan ko na kumain. I developed an eating disorder, anorexia nervosa.
I will look at myself in the mirror and I will feel so fat, no matter what my friends say na sobrang payat ko na. I will drink my heart out every single night. I'm a natural born sport freak so no matter how bad I had become I still can play. I've been a bad girl, literally. I've gone to a sweet, innocent, loving girl to a bitchy, girl-kissing bitch. OO tama narinig nyo. I've also spent my time with girls. Not to the extent that I would sleep with them but I was seen messing around the bars with them.
It all ended when I met Jess. He was not as good looking as Alex, but he'll do. Since I put myself to school, I didn't have the privilege of an allowance. I have to work myself to school basically. I was 18 that time, when I became an assistant manager of Tim Horton's Coffee (a famous coffee shop in Canada). In the morning I go to school, in the evening I work, then after 11 pm end of my shift I go drinking. That was my life.
Jess was one of our customers. He gave me the attention that no other guy had given me. He was an inch shorter than I am. He was thin, pero maganda ang nose and lips nya. His eyes as well are a bit squinty, yung tipong pag ngumiti wala nang mata. All in all he wasn't my type. Pero slowly I fell for him.
The first time I noticed him was when he bought his tea, I can still remember it. Large tea, double double with milk. Kasama nya noon si Ate Lisa, co-worker nya and kapatid nyang si Carl. Every time napapadaan sya he would simply smile at me or minsan nabubulol sya when he orders. Di ko sya type pero I will get disoriented kasi the way he looks at me kakaiba. I gave him coffee instead of tea. Grabe nakakahiya. From that time na nagkamali ako nagkalakas sya ng loob na manligaw.
Carl: Miss, ano pangalan mo?
Gelai: Bulag ka ba? Ayan kaya sa name tag ko!
Carl: Ang suplada mo naman.
Gelai: Ang obvious kasi di na tinatanong.
Carl: Di naman ako ang gusto talaga magtanong eh. Kuya ko.
Gelai: E di sabihin mo sa kuya mo na if gusto nya malaman sino ako sya magtanong.
Carl: (almost pabulong sa sarili) Patay kang bata ka kuya magkakagusto ka na lang sa suplada pa!
Gelai: At wag ka ring bubulong bulong dyan if alam mo naman na maririnig ko rin. Eto na order mo.
Carl left my store without my name or my number. Nakita ko ring binatukan sya ni Jess sa labas.
Kinabukasan si Jess na ulit ang bumili ng drinks nila. This time medyo nakayuko sya.
Gelai: The usual ba?
Jess: Oo, pero this time pwede ba yung tea ko wag mo gawing coffee?
Gelai: If nagkamali pala ko last time e di dapat nireklamo mo na agad di yung ibabalik mo sakin ngayon.
Jess: Gusto mo ba magreklamo ako? Ok fine asan ang manager nyo?
Gelai: Kausap mo ngayon.
Jess: Well then di ko masabi ang reklamo ko ngayon kasi ang kausap ko medyo mataray. Ano nga ba number ng manager nyo para makapagreklamo ako?
Gelai: Are you asking me for my number?
Jess: Ang sabi ko number ng manager nyo hindi ng number mo Miss Angelique.
Gelai: Eh ako nga manager eh.
Jess: Eh di bigay mo number ng manager.
I got frustrated that I just gave him his order. Sya naman nakangising lumabas ng store.
The next day he came back again and this time medyo parang inis na ang mukha.
Jess: Miss manager may complaint ako.
Gelai: Ano complaint mo?
Jess: Crew mo sobrang suplada and laging mali ang binibigay sakin. Sabi
ko nang tea gusto ko hindi coffee eh.
Gelai: Oh sorry ah, medyo bad trip kasi ako lately eh.
Jess: Wag mo kasi dinadala kabadtripan mo sa work.
Gelai: Eh work ko nga nambabadtrip sakin eh. For example, ikaw.
Jess: Nababadtrip ka sakin?
Jess: O sige di mo na ko makikita.
My next shift came and he didn't come. So as the following days, and well the whole month. I was getting worried, ni hindi ko alam bat ako affected na di ko sya nakikita. Until my school year ended and I worked the morning shift and the evening shift straight. Nagpalit pala sya ng shift that day na huling visit nya kaya di ko na sya nakikita after that.
Jess: Miss Angelique, mahal talaga ako ni Lord.
Gelai: Excuse me?
Jess: Tinupad nya hiling ko na palipatin ka sa shift ko. Galing ka school dala mo na naman yang bag ng laptop mo eh?
Gelai: First of bakasyon na kaya no di ako galing sa school, secondly ano naman paki mo kung san ako galing?
Jess: Ang taray mo talaga. Ano nga ulit number mo?
I left him sa may pintuan banda ng store while I moved my way back to the kitchen. Pero di ako asar. I was actually smiling. Siguro kasi no one really gave me this much attention that lasted for well ilang buwan na diba.
When I was ready to face the crowd I have my number written on one of our napkins. Para di halata na binigay ko sa kanya number ko. I handed him his order and the napkins. Bahala na sya mag figure out kung ano yun.
Wala akong tawag from him. Siguro di na sya interested sakin sabi ko sa sarili ko. Until the next day he went to my workplace. Day off nya yun and alam ko yun.
Jess: Gel, kelan day off mo?
Jess: Nagbibilliards ka ba?
Jess: Gusto mo matuto?
Jess: Sige sunduin ka namin ni Carl bukas. Punta tayo ng Sharks and billiards.
Gelai: Ok. magkakape ka ba?
Jess: Tea (sabay kindat)
Gelai: Oo nga pala tea.
Jess: Mahal na mahal mo siguro ako kaya ka laging nagkakamali sa order ko.
Gelai: Oo di ako mapakali pag nandyan ka kasi di ko alam kung saang circus ka galing.
Natawa na lang sya and then bago sya umalis he said he'd call me.
We talked all night pag uwi ko from work. Masarap sya kausap. Malambing.
We went to play billiards that night. He ordered his usual beer, I have my screwdriver. Si Carl di uminom kasi nga he is driving. I have my cousin to follow me just in case something comes out and gusto ko na umuwi. In the end I stayed, my cousin getting tired so he went home early.
Jess: Ano game na tayo? di ka pa naglalaro eh.
Gelai: Sure, pero di ako marunong maglaro eh.
Jess: Don't worry I'll teach you.
So I pretended na di ako marunong maglaro, not because nagpapacute ako pero kasi I wanted to beat his ass. I wanted to know how he plays. After a few games my real knowledge on billiards came out. Pero maangas sya sabi nya magaling lang daw syang teacher. Nagkaron kami ng pustahan. If I lose I go home with him...If I win, bahala ako sa consequence. After 5 games I won 4 out of the 5...Carl left na rin so we were left to take the bus or taxi home.
Jess: Ano gusto mo? You won (asar nyang tanong)
Gelai: Since I won, why don't we go to your place.
Jess: Sure ka?
Gelai: Sure why not wala naman ako pupuntahan.
Jess: Ok then let's go.
We left the bar and I thought I will have to chance to get to know him without the crowd, without his brother or my cousin. Nasa elevator kami ng building nila when he asked me for a kiss. I didn't feel anything. Di ko sya mahal, pero I gave in to the kiss. Siguro it's the longing na lang to be kissed again kaya ako nagpaubaya. We were at his apartment door na that time...he put in the key and opened the door. Nagulat na lang ako ng pagbukas nya ng door, Carl was there, his mom was there and well pati isa pa nyang kuya was there. It was a full apartment.
Gelai: Ano ba yan Jess nakakahiya.
Jess: Don't worry, kilala ka naman nila. I told them that I found the girl I wanted to be with and isang araw dadalihin ko sya dito.
Gelai: Huh? Wag mo nga ako biruin ng ganyan..
Nanay ni Jess: Ay iha, ikaw ba si Angel, naku napakagandang bata naman pala, kaya lang kailangan mo magpataba ng konti sobrang payat mo, kawawa mga magiging apo ko!
Jess: Nay, baka matakot naman wag nyong takutin.
Nakita ko si Carl na tawa ng tawa sa tabi.
Kuya Uri: Jess ano bibili na ba ko ng mangga?
Hinila ko si Jess palabas ng apartment, I wanted him to explain what was going on.
Gelai: Anong bakit?
Jess: Gel, I know what I want and from the time I saw you I want you kaya I wanted you to meet the entire family. Sabi ko naman sayo diba noon pa, darating din ang time na sasama ka sakin. And well, you did.
I was so tired that time and medyo tipsy na rin ako. I wanted to sleep beside nanay kasi ayaw ko may mangyari samin ni Jess, pero si nanay pa talaga ang nagpush na magtabi kami sa kama. Para bang sure na sure na sila na ako na nga yung magpapakasal sa anak nila. So sige natulog na lang ako dun.
I had my back on Jess, ayaw ko talaga. When he hugged me, nag tense ang katawan ko. Parang mali yung ginagawa ko. I wanted to leave in the middle of the night pero baka ano pa mangyari sakin lalo na yung time na yun uso ang mga na re rape na babae. Di nya ko pinilit to face him. He simply put his head near my shoulders, hugging me sa waist ko. Di naman nya ko binastos or anything kaya naman medyo nagrelax na rin ako.
Pasensya na wala masyadong action dito...I just want you guys to see the story as it is and hindi puro libog ;)